Life after Narcissistic Abuse

What resources have helped you move forward after narcissistic abuse?

The following has worked for me.

I educated myself on narcissism because I wanted to know why things happened the way it did. I now have the knowledge and understanding of why a narcissist behaves the way they do.

Since then I now ask how do I move forward.

I have read many self-help books including “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.

I also read the Bible.

I go to a therapist. I have help from life coaches. I cannot divulge their names as that would reveal where I live, so I want to keep them anonymous for now.

I watch guided meditation videos on YouTube and daily prayer videos.

I also use Melanie Tonia Evans (NARP) Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

And writing here on this blog has been helpful as well.

I also workout, eat healthy foods and try new things.

I try not to focus too much on narcissistic abuse. I have shared some of my story. And I have a lot more I could share.

I find that I am willing to share if others benefit. But there will come a time in my life where I will move on from this subject.

What resources have you used after narcissistic abuse that you have found helpful in moving on with your life?

Author: Forever Serene

I write about life, poems, narcissists and trying new things. Currently, I am taking a break from blogging. I am busy trying new things and living my life.

17 thoughts on “Life after Narcissistic Abuse”

  1. Education.

    I also read/study the bible.

    I go to the gym.

    I have hobbies/interests.

    Close supportive friends/family.

    My strong will and inner core.

    Working hard on my own psychological, mental and emotional issues, and weaknesses.

    Making changes, some very painful.

    Like you too, I believe I am in process of moving on.

    Even though I would like to help people. I believe you cannot help people until you have helped yourself. It’s like throwing out a ring to someone, whilst you are in the water also…

    Also time. Time is the hardest. But it needs to pass.

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  2. I would also like to say that, the Narcissist relies on us breaking no contact, and coming back out again. Our resolve can often be weak. Our boundaries not tight. And we feel the empty void that the Narcissist creates within us.
    This is where many turn to writing and helping others. Which can be a source of help and healing.
    I have found personally that even this can keep your mind on the Narcissist. This in turn keeps our emotions wrapped up in the all that’s happened.
    The hardest part also is once going no contact, it’s keeping that up. It is difficult because we often have an addiction to them. We crave the excitement.
    This is where working on yourself becomes vital. It’s very painful too. It’s not easy. We have to remove that collar if you like ourselves even though we don’t want to. We have to learn to hate and deaden what we crave and love.

    This is where the REAL work is.

    And the horrible thing is, the Narcissist can tell whether you have done this inside work on yourself or not. They will know.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Serene, I am helped not so much by professionals, but rather, by people who’ve been there, too, and have experienced Narcissist Abuse, first hand.

    I have been to therapists who didn’t have any idea what it was like to be in a relationship with a Narcissist, and they gave detrimental advice. But, I’ve also known simple, everyday people who completely understand, and “get it” because they’ve been there.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it does. I’m familiar with Tonia Evans (I think that’s her name; I don’t have your blog in front of me, just a “reply box”).

        She does write some profound articles, and I do respect her.

        I also like Ross Rosenberg, and several other ones (and none of them are Narcissists).

        I don’t believe in gaining light or enlightenment from the darkness. Nothing good can come from that which is solely evil.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Blogging the chaos and crazy cycles then reflecting back on them, to recognize the NPD patterns has been invaluable! The sharing of similar experiences from other bloggers has really helped me too. I’m not alone and I’m definitely not crazy👍🏼💪🏼😘

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to admit that I am only just learning (and have a name for it) that my ‘husband’ is narcissistic. Like you I’ve found some comfort and strength from reading more about narcissism.

    I have also only recently joined the cyber world to find out more about narcissism (as well as coercive control) and it’s been shocking to find out how many other ‘victims’ there are which is terrible of course. Equally though it has made me feel less lonely.

    If interested this is my first blog post about my situation https://unwedandlocked.co.uk/2019/12/09/shameful-secret/

    I hope you can move onto other matters rather sooner than later…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad to hear you have started a new blog it can be a very rewarding process. You most definitely are not alone. I wish you the best in your healing journey.

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  6. That’s a lot more than I’ve done to heal myself, but in my defense I have so much more going on. My issues, lifelong abuse since I was a newborn. I can’t function right now, for some reason I’ve gotten stuck in a rut of self pity.

    I was doing very well, mentally, for awhile but my ex narc (1 out of 2) still has me mentally screwed up. We’ve been apart for two years and I don’t love him anymore but I suppose there’s a trauma bond there. I still fall for him once in awhile, not as a lover but I’ve slept with him a few times in the last year. We have a three year old daughter and share custody so it’s almost impossible to separate completely, emotionally.

    Also I have an ex husband narc who I have three kids with and he still tortures me, 7 years later, by using our youngest as a pawn to hurt me. My older two children are on their own now and they’ve realized what a monster their dad is. After all of the brainwashing he did to them, told them I didn’t love them and didn’t care about them whatsoever. I won’t get into defending myself because that’ll trigger my anger.

    I’m strong because I left my abusive 15 year marriage and the recent narc only made it a month. I started a new life, by myself for the first time by myself after I left my ex husband despite the fact that I’d been a stay at home mom for 15 years and never had to support myself. It was so difficult I can’t begin to explain, but I let go of the narcs control over me after a few years.

    I don’t do enough to heal. There are so many things I could be doing, as you have, but I’m too broken to even bother. I need to break out of this hell I’m living in and take my life back. I’m not even in therapy and I’m disappointed in myself. The only thing I do with any happiness is write. I’m far from a professional but it is very therapeutic and always has been.

    Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience.

      I spent seven years in a relationship with a narcissist boyfriend. We have a child together. I completely understand how difficult they make life and how challenging the healing process can be.

      I left that relationship over 20 years ago and I worked on myself but I was unaware of what I was truly dealing with.

      It wasn’t until this last experience with another narcissist that lead me to reach out for help and that is when I gained a better understanding.

      I believe healing is a process. And we all heal at our own pace. You are doing the best you can.

      I am glad to hear that writing helps you.

      Pleasure speaking to you. Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Amen. I’m recovering from this too. I stopped going to therapy at the end of 2019 because I’m in a good and healthy place, but it’s still hard. Thanks for sharing. You’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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